With success comes a great deal of work. I’m fantastic at stating the obvious!!!
The Youth Ministry Institute has been in business for nearly six years. 20 youth ministers have completed our two-year program. This year alone, YMI has ten new churches under contract! Their youth ministers and those that are completing their second year are pictured to the left. This is very good! It meets a goal I have had over the past year. It is also ties the record for the greatest number of churches that we have ever signed up in one calendar year. It is exciting to know that two of those churches will allow YMI to stretch into new territories.
At First UMC Winter Park we will be delaying all of the instructional training for their youth minister until next year. That means we will have a three year relationship with this church instead of two. The coaching started this past week. We are in the midst of scheduling the Youth Ministry Architect three-day on-site assessment. We will also interview their youth minister and assess him on the basis of our ten core competencies. All of this was designed to be done in tandem. Therefore we will have the opportunity to evaluate the effectiveness of focusing on the coaching and support systems first before diving into the practical and theological training. In addition, I’m looking forward to the extended relationship we will enjoy with this church.
The other exception is even more interesting to me. Next week I will spend three days with First UMC St. Petersburg. Jeff Dunn-Rankin of the Youth Ministry Architects and I will consult and assess a church that hasn’t hired a youth minister, yet. Jeff is on the job because he just published a book called How to Hire a Youth Pastor. Pretty good timing, huh? It is the desire of YMI to connect appropriate resources with churches. This match, in theory, should work out very well.
The church plans to complete the hiring process before Thanksgiving if they find the right match. If the church decides to continue its relationship with YMI after that, then the coaching will begin immediately. Again, the instructional training will be delayed. Our beginning point each year is August where we host our foundational retreat for those that are beginning YMI.
For the third year in a row we have accepted youth ministers after the foundational retreat and before the next instructional training retreat in September. Two youth ministers were hired in this window. They will both pick up the foundational retreat next August.
So, the hard work has begun. Within two months we have scheduled orientation meetings with ten congregations. We interviewed all of our youth ministers using our core competency assessment tool. These interviews were reviewed by two other assessors to assure their accuracy. We are scheduling the on-site assessments with the Youth Ministry Architects at each church. There will be a flurry of these prior to Thanksgiving with the rest of them picking up after the new year. Every youth minister has a coach and has begun meeting with them, some have already met twice. The coaches have been trained and are ready to serve.
AND, in the midst of all of this we hosted our own conference, The Academy, which was given rave reviews by all who attended. My church, the host venue, just completed a $20 million building. We were given our temporary certificate of occupancy 10 days before the conference began, which made the task of pulling off a rookie conference all the more challenging.
Hard work? Hard work! And, it has all been very gratifying! I am already feeling good about how we are customizing our services to the needs of the local churches we are serving as well as paying attention to the individual needs of the people each church hired to be their youth minister.
Again, I am stating the obvious. That is what the Youth Ministry Institute is designed to do!
Most Recently
The Academy
I came home from the first full day of The Academy, our first attempt at a three-day conference. I sat down to give my wife the brief recap. I am normally a highly self critical person. In fact, I often times have difficulty enjoying the moment because I’m always thinking about how I’ll change things the next time to make it better. I looked at her and said, “There isn’t one thing I would change about today!”
That’s a big deal for me. I went into the week pretty sure I would never do another one. This was a one shot deal because we couldn’t find another quality conference to go to in the fall. I planned it 7 months ago thinking that we would be in our new church building, the host venue, for several months so that we would be able to work all the bugs out of the operational side of the building. Instead we had ten days. Our registered attendees were greeted by workmen, generators and the sound of hammering. We were hanging video screens in the classrooms the morning the workshops began. The air conditioning had not been properly balanced leaving some rooms hot and some cold.
And, still it turned out perfectly.
Our YMI students made sure that all the details were cared for. Our instructors were off-the-charts excellent. The Skit Guys and Mark DeVries motivated and challenged youth ministers and volunteers in youth ministry to get unstuck, to begin thinking about their youth ministries in a way that is sustainable. Our band, Civil Parish, rocked. Above all, all of our registered attendees had a great experience. They were encouraged, inspired and challenged.
Over 100 participated in The Academy. Another 75 came to our afternoon show for teenagers. So, let’s do it, again! It sounds like fun!!!
The Indispensable Youth Pastor
This is the title of a new book by Mark DeVries and Jeff Dunn-Rankin. It was released in the spring. In it there is a quote on page 57. It reads,
“During the recent Great Recession, we asked our friend Steve Schneeberger, the executive director of Florida's Youth Ministry Institute, this question: 'How can youth pastors make sure that they're not the first ones laid off when the church is forced to make tough staffing decisions?'
His answer was unqualified and quick: 'Become indispensable.' “
There it is. My moment of fame. Most who have read this book and noticed that my name is in there have done so because I have shoved the book in their face and said, “Read page 57!” With or without my quote, it is a great book. I kind of like the title, too.
Partner Highlight
Coaching Coordinator
YMI has a great family of supporters. They are donors, alumni, pastors, youth ministers, instructors, coaches, assessors, and consultants. All believe we are making a difference. You are one of those people. We are making that difference together!
Do you know how many full time employees YMI currently has? I thought you knew. One. I am it. I am not complaining, however. But, I am realizing some systems and functions we could do better if we had more people on the job.
So, for the last year I have been asking particular donors and foundations to fund the salary of a coaching coordinator. This person would support our network of coaches to ensure the quality of their work in the field with our youth ministers. Streamlining reporting functions, developing practical curriculum and enacting measurable evaluative systems would also be part of the major tasks the coaching coordinator would perform, all of which I can see and articulate the process and result, but have no time to do it myself without sacrificing something that is already running well.
To date I have collected $26,000 for this project. A generous family and two foundations have made contributions. I have a long term funding plan based on income projections tied to an increasing donor base at a rate we have increased the last two years. Therefore, I am looking for additional funding commitments of $90,000 over three years. I am 30% of the way there.
I have calculated that if I were to fund this position at a part time salary, rather than full time, I would need $40,000 in the bank, based on the foundation commitments I have received. This would be a solid interim step.
I am not asking you for money, believe it or not.
I am asking for prayer. I am asking for any known funding leads that you might provide. I tend to do this work more privately since it is outside the operating budget that my board and I have developed and funded, with your help. So, I am going public now because I feel that I am very close to making this a reality. And, frankly, this would be a great time to add someone. Capitalizing on our increased enrollment, consultation requests and exposure on the national scene seems especially prudent right now.
I realize that this is all in God’s timing not mine. Be assured that I have been patient thus far and will continue to be. I just felt moved to share this with you so that you can join me in praying for wisdom and direction.
Coming SoonAnnual
Dessert Fund Raiser
Reserve February 6, 2012, on your calendar! The fifth Annual Dessert Fund Raiser will be in a brand new building this year! Come and check out the new space. The Dessert will still be pretty yummy and the program will be informative and motivational. If you know of someone who hasn’t heard the impact we are making in youth ministries across Florida, then, invite them to be your guest!!!
I woke up one day in June of 2010 with some back pain. I’m not sure what I did. We had bought the mattress I slept on two years prior. So, it couldn’t be that. 10 months earlier in a basketball collision I developed some neck pain with some bulging disks and some resulting nerve damage in my right hand effecting movement in my thumb, index and middle finger. But, I had completed the physical therapy six months earlier and seemed to be on the road to recovery (at least somewhat). It felt like all the tendons on the left side of my back were pulling like taunt strings inside of me.
So, I did what any red blooded American male would do. Nothing. I self diagnosed. I determined (and I’m going to use the medical term here) I pulled all the little strings holding the insides of me together. So, I stretched. I did sit ups, leg ups, leg overs, bend overs, anything to feel like I was solving the problem. I was determined to solve this pain myself.
I have felt pain at other times in my life, too. I like to be liked. And, I am hurt deeply when somebody doesn’t like me. I used to determine that people don’t know me very well if they don’t like me. If only they knew me better, they would like me. Well, then there were some people in college who knew me pretty well and didn’t like me. Hmmm. I had trouble justifying that one.
In fact, one night my senior year, my own fraternity brothers (they knew me well) lit fire crackers in front of my door while I was asleep. The noise woke me up and my adrenaline wouldn’t let me go back to sleep. I never asked who did it. I had a few guesses. But, I really didn’t want to know who might dislike me to that degree. The burn mark on the carpet reminded me of their dislike. Honestly, it is still painful.
The pain of loss has been rather large in my life. My dad died when I was ten. That was a big loss, one I’ll never fully quantify. I have had lost relationships – friends and girlfriends. I could list names and still feel the pain of some of those losses, although it all dissipates with time and new found friendships and love. In other words, I’m thankful I’m married to the woman I am married to.
But it was really the death of my cousin, Dan, where I felt the most pain. I realized shared memories that go unwritten do die once both who share it are gone. I miss the ability to share those memories that are only special to me and Dan. Frankly, no one else would understand. They wouldn’t see the humor in the things we laughed about.
So, my back still hurts - 16 months later. The strings have localized to a spot. But, I’m convinced this pain will never go away. I still play basketball and run. I get up slower. I’m not as quick. But the pain remains.
I have learned to live with it.
And, even more importantly, I have learned not to focus on it. My life isn’t all about pain. It is really about the joy in the midst of pain. I look fondly back on college as an incredible learning and growing experience. I am better for all of the relationships I have had. And, even the pain in my back reminds me how fragile life is and how I might want to live each day to the fullest.
I’m convinced it is not whether we have pain or not. It is what we do with the pain we have that matters.
It has been a rough couple of years! Don’t get me wrong. I know that many people have it rougher than I do. And, there have been some very good things in the last couple of years. I am deeply encouraged by God. It just hasn’t been without some anguish.
Maybe I’m overstating it. You be the judge. Every year we have our Foundational Retreat for the youth ministers that are beginning our program in late August or early September. In the early days I envisioned this happening in May. This happened once. However, a great many youth ministers are hired in the summer time. So, we decided the late August time frame would be ideal.
In 2009 and 2010 I entered the month of August with zero participants signed up to begin the Youth Ministry Institute. That’s right. Zero. Goose Egg. I had no one to join the previous year’s class already in progress.
So, obviously I did some praying. One would think that the prayer I prayed might have gone something like this, “Please, please, PLEASE, God, give me some youth ministers that will participate in my program. I have worked very hard. Remember, that YOU called me to this!
That was not my prayer. Though tempted to pray that, I chose another way that matched my theology a little bit better. I prayed, “God, if you don’t want me to do this anymore, don’t give me anyone. Please make it obvious that I need to close up the shop.”
I was really okay with quitting. I didn’t want to. But, if the need didn’t exist, I didn’t want to waste time addressing it.
Miraculously, each of those years we added five youth ministers. I guess that God wasn’t done with YMI after all. In fact, we were able to refine other functions and systems within the organization during this time. We expanded our relationships with our partners and added new ones. Our philanthropy efforts were well received as income from our supporters increased. I felt that God was sending a stronger message. Don’t quit!!!
Beginning in October 2010, a dramatic shift occurred. For four years I had been doing pre-hiring consultations all over the state for churches that are in the process of hiring a youth minister. I usually did between four and seven each year. I use it as a marketing tool. Prior to 2009, 50% of those churches would sign up their youth minister to be in our program once they were hired. It was a different story in 2009 and 2010. None of the youth ministers joined YMI during these years because I consulted with their church before they were hired.
The ramifications of the poor economy were twofold. Youth ministers weren’t leaving jobs for fear they would not be able to find another one. And some churches decided to down size expenditures and not rehire a youth minister.
So, what was this most recent shift? Since October 2010 I have done 17 pre-hiring consultations, three times as many as I would normally do on average in a year! Youth ministers were moving. Churches were hiring again. 75% of this year’s participants come from these consultations. This past weekend four churches completed their interviewing process and have orally committed to enrolling their youth minister in the Youth Ministry Institute. Another two churches made oral commitments. Five churches may complete their process in the next month, hopefully making it in under the deadline for this year’s class.
God continues to make it obvious. Don’t quit! There is a need!!!
Most Recently
A New Class Begins
On Monday the new class of youth ministers began. There are eight in the class representing all sorts of demographics and interest. Most were hired within the last six months. Two hadn't even "officially" met their kids as the youth minister!
Their first activity together consisted of a two-day Foundational Retreat. Strangers become friends in a short amount of time. Our largest Foundational Retreat in the short history of YMI resulted in new insight gained as five different instructors communicated the values of the Youth Ministry Institute. They were taught the framework of our leadership curriculum which focuses on self awareness and authenticity. The new youth ministers learned what "color" they are through a personality temperament inventory. Budgeting, spiritual disciplines and organization were covered in great detail. Amazingly enough, there still may be other members that join this class. They have until September 19th to be part of this great group of beginning youth ministers.
Partner Highlight
HUMAN eX Ventures
I have a typical youth minister’s office. No. I don’t have an executive director’s office. I’m not entirely sure I would be comfortable in one. Too many earth tones. I have a small basketball goal hanging on my closet door. The basketball can be found rolling around some place on my floor. Hanging from the goal are name tags from every conference I have attended in the last several years – like I’ll wear any of them anytime soon. I have a white board littered with colorful lists of the things I must complete to keep my head above water. On one wall I have framed and hung the degrees that prove my pedigree in business and law but have been little help in my profession. I also honor my universities with various tributes throughout the room including a Jayhawk gnome and a 2008 Champions poster. I have a small refrigerator with stale food in it, a small television that I never use and a rack of magazines that I have read but won’t look at again. Behind me are shelves of books. Proudly, I have read most of them. Above the shelves are the senior pictures of youth who have graduated from my youth group. And, of course on my desk and on my door are pictures of my own children so that I can remember that they are the most important youth in my life.
So, when I scheduled a meeting with Brad Black, CEO of HUMAN eX Ventures I had to do a little cleaning. Brad is from Nebraska and was traveling to Orlando on other business. His company developed a unique assessment tool that measures the extent that a youth minister might utilize each of ten core competencies. We use this tool to develop our youth ministries so that not only will their knowledge grow, so will their character. The Youth Ministry Institute has been using it exclusively with the youth ministers enrolled in YMI.
I asked for the meeting so that we might explore the use and expansion of the interview tool. It seemed to me that if we interviewed more youth ministers, the tool would become stronger and we could help other similarly situated organizations. I also wanted to make our partnership more intentional and interconnected. To my delight, Brad was very receptive to this. He told me about other tools his company is working on that would eventually benefit our work.
We are in the final stages of working out the details of our revised partnership. I am very excited. There are a few things that make the Youth Ministry Institute unique. This assessment tool is one of them. The amount of personal growth that occurs as a result of our work with the tool and the developmental processes we have created allows youth ministers to more accurately live into their potential. Therefore, it excites me to use it more extensively so that we might help other youth ministers, too.
Coming Soon
YMI Appreciation Event
We are appreciative of the many people who support the Youth Ministry Institute. Our board of directors continues to look for ways to show appreciation. Be on the look out for multiple Appreciation Events throughout the year. It is our hope that these events will be a window into the operation of the Youth Ministry Institute. It is one thing to hear about the great work that God is doing in the lives of youth ministers and the ministries that they lead. It is quite another thing to see it in action.
The next event is October 14, 2011. The board of directors would like for supporters to come and see first hand the inner workings of The Academy, an event designed for youth ministers and their volunteer teams. The Skit Guys are the headline act. Eddie and Tommy mix humor with a deep meaningful message to deliver God’s word in a manner in which it is remembered and personal.
We’ll gather for dinner at 5:30 at 142 East Jackson Street in Orlando. After some words of introduction, we’ll head up to our reserved seats for the Skit Guys. As a bonus, Mark DeVries, noted youth minister and author, will also be speaking that night. Mark most recently wrote a book called The Indispensable Youth Pastor in which he quotes (on page 57) our executive director, Steve Schneeberger.
We consider our organization to be family. There is this network of brothers, sisters and distance cousins thrice removed of which you are a part. If you support the Youth Ministry Institute, then please come to this family reunion.
My wife and I bought a house last Monday. I’m feeling a little guilty. I know I shouldn’t. But, I do. Let me give you a little bit of the back story.
Our previous house of 15 years was 1200 square feet, which was fine when it was just my wife and I. Then, we added a dog, a cat, a human girl and two human boys. Oh, and by the way, for those of you who don’t live in Florida – we didn’t have a basement. Northerners don’t know how Floridians can survive without basements. Pile on the fact that we didn’t have a garage AND our cars parked nightly under a pine tree that continually dripped sap.
An aside: a few years ago I took my car to the car wash – one of those car washes where they have three guys prep it, send it through the 100 foot tunnel and then, at the end, another three guys wipe it down. My car is a 1997 Explorer and doesn’t get treated to this kind of car wash very often. At the end I claim my car by handing my ticket to one of the guys. Usually they say, “Thank you very much, sir.” This time I was scolded for parking my car under a pine tree. “It is ruining your paint,” he said. The pine tree covers my drive way. So, a couple of weeks later I parked my car on the street because my wife’s car was parked in the middle of the driveway. That night the neighbor across the street backed into my car leaving a big crease on the driver’s side door and quarter panel. I wanted to take my car back to the car wash and say to the guy, “See. I didn’t park it under the pine tree this time!” Of course, the best way to get rid of the sap was to have the whole quarter panel replaced. The next time I should ask my neighbor to drop something on top of the car as this is where most of the sap hardens.
Back to the new house and my guilt. Our new house is 2800 square feet with a three car garage. Ugh. There, I said it.
My bedroom is bigger than the living room at my old house. There are places I can go where I don’t hear the other people with whom I am living. I have a bathroom with a real door that locks (I know. That is good for another story at another time.) My wife and I can occupy the bathroom at the same time without touching one another! We have a living room and dining room that are empty because these rooms didn’t exist in the old house. I’m not really sure what they are used for. I think I’m going jockey for a pool table and some arcade games. It is easy to tell that this experience is causing monumental changes in our lifestyle!
My wife and I were also shopping for a neighborhood that would be great for our kids. On the second day after we moved in, five neighborhood kids came and introduced themselves. On the third day our kids were out playing with them – hide and go seek, bike riding, swimming at their pool. For three hours we trusted that our kids were okay playing outside without our supervision. We wouldn’t have done that in our old neighborhood. We didn’t know that this was still possible in the 21st century.
Why is there an instant level of trust in this community? You see, our development is a half mile square and is ringed by a wall with one gate leading into the 77 homes. When we tell people where we live, they say, “Oh, yeah, behind the wall.”
Here comes my guilt. I have always made fun of people in gated communities (behind their backs of course). I have always felt that a gate gives a false sense of security. What if the criminals lived inside the gate? Or what if people with gate access let the nar-do-wells in? To prove my point, our gate has been broken for the last three weeks. Anybody can come in!
I have also had a certain prejudice about people that live in nice houses and nice neighborhoods. I’m sure that most of it stemmed from jealousy. I wanted to live in a nice house and in a nice neighborhood.
So, I know that you are asking, “How can he afford to live there? He is a youth minister. He can’t make that much money.” I’m asking myself the same question.
There were four houses for sale in this community. After we looked at the first one, our realtor asked me, “What do you think?” I said, “I’m not thinking because I can’t afford this house. They are asking way beyond my ceiling. Let’s not come back here.”
What I discovered is that the combination of a flooded market in this neighborhood plus overall declining housing prices, low interest rates and the amount of equity I had in my old home (which sold in 19 days) allowed me to buy a house within my price range. I could afford it.
I’m still feeling guilty. I’m a hypocrite. Even though I am living well within my means, I feel like I’m living beyond them.
I am very very thankful to have found the house in this neighborhood. It is exactly what we were looking for and more. I guess, what it boils down to is that I expected to find what I was looking for. I didn’t expect something beyond my comprehension.
I’m not saying God gave us this house even though I am very thankful to God for every good thing that happens in my life and the lives of my family and others. I would venture to say that God does give us experiences beyond our comprehension. I have experienced that in this instance and at other pivotal times in my life.
And, just like God’s love, I have trouble getting my mind around it. So, instead of simply accepting it, I have to rationalize it and end up feeling guilty for not being worthy of the gift.
I plan to get beyond guilt and rational thought so that I might enjoy all the extravagant experiences that God has planned for me. I know it will take some time. But, I want to enjoy this stage of my life, too.
By the way, let me know if you would like the gate code. Or, who knows, it might still be broken.
A couple of months ago, the night before our certification ceremony for the Class of 2011, Janell Lockhart, the youth minister at First UMC Lutz said to me, “I need to talk to you.” That phrase sets off the red alerts in my head. In the 30 seconds it took for us to move to another part of the room that was a bit more private, I considered all of the possibilities of why she would “need to talk” to me.
* Was the assignment that they completed earlier that day not specific enough?
* Did someone hurt her feelings when we were giving oral evaluations of the projects?
* Is she having a problem with one of the other youth ministers?
* Is she having a problem with me? Did I say something to offend her? Did I fail to hear something she was communicating earlier?
As you can tell my brain, in a very short time, started spiraling and become hyper focused on me, not her. Luckily, I didn’t try to guess what she wanted to talk to me about. By the time she started speaking I was able to clear away my selfishness and listen.
“I have breast cancer.”
This was not what I expected. I was shocked by the news. Now, what Janell said next didn’t surprise me because she is a very low key person who never seeks attention. Most everyone I know with these qualities can be summed up in one word: humble. That is Janell. She said, “I don’t want anyone to know today because that will take away from the accomplishment of the people who are graduating.”
We agreed that I would let people in YMI know once she had some more information. A lumpectomy and biopsy were scheduled in the next few weeks. She would have more news then.
Six lymph nodes contained the cancer. Janell, being the optimist stated, “8 lymph nodes are clean! I have the most "popular" type of cancer (the one time it really is important to be in the "in" crowd) and so there is a standard regimen of treatment.”
She has been truly inspirational in the last couple of months. She created a prayer chain on Facebook called My Prayer Posse. There she gives updates as to her progress. She has completed her second round of chemotherapy. She has six rounds to go, ending the last week in September. That will be followed by radiation and hormone treatment. Her frequents posts on My Prayer Posse always makes references to what she is thankful for. She shares scripture that is inspiring her. Of course, it is inspiring to others who read all of what she writes.
Janell shaved her head a couple of weeks ago so that she might avoid the gradual thinning of her locks. She posted the picture on Facebook. I am increasingly moved by her picture. First of all, the look on her face communicates an iron clad resolve. And, I couldn’t help to think that posting a bald version of herself on the internet speaks to her self confidence and understanding that God is more about what is inside of us than what is projected by our outward appearance.
Janell is well known in my circles of friends even though she doesn't know all of them – the guys I play basketball with on Wednesday and Friday mornings, the guys I meet with every Friday morning for accountability, the staff of my church and, of course, my YMI family. Janell has received a great outpouring of love and support.
In fact, after just mentioning Janell’s situation without using her name in last month’s newsletter, a YMI donor e-mailed me and told of how her daughter had just battled cancer and won. I believe her daughter has joined Janell’s Prayer Posse and is offering the support from someone who has been there and done that. Your love and support of Janell is welcomed in whatever way you are moved to give it.
Thanks for your continued support. Again, the Youth Ministry Institute is more than a two-year program for youth ministers. It continues to serve others in ways that I never imagined when we first began.
Most Recently
The Intensive Complete
Last month I reported about our upcoming first Intensive on the Old Testament with Brian Russell instructing. Last week we met. It was an unbelievable success. Our students gave Brian and his three day class (21 hours plus 12 hours over three previous retreats) rave reviews. Many commented on how he was able to connect the dots between Old Testament theology and faith formation for young people. He made the class very practical and academically engaging, values for which the Youth Ministry Institute strives. Thanks, Brian, for a very good beginning! (a bit of Genesis humor for our OT prof)
Partner Highlight
Solidifying partnerships has to be the most difficult work I have undertaken. It isn’t hard, like digging ditches. It is hard as in staring at a clock waiting for the right time. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not really staring at a clock. I don’t have time to do that!
Currently, there are three partnership agreements that are in varying stages of development. In every case, the potential partners are excited and interested in connecting with the Youth Ministry Institute. It, evidently, just takes a while. Proposals need to be drafted. Counter proposals are usually made. With each proposal, there is an approval process on both sides that is sometimes tedious. I find it difficult to wait to share with you the future. But, I want to be sure that all parties agree on the future I share.
All of this creates the best scenarios for the Youth Ministry Institute and those that are considering the partnership. So, it is not time wasted. It is just…. Time.
So, this column is intending to report on each of these partnerships when they are fully realized. Stay tuned. But don't watch the clock. It ticks too slow.
Well, it happened the other day. Another youth minister was let go without an explanation. Now, I say this like it is standard fare in my world of youth ministry. I fully realize that it is not standard, nor is it unusual.
People are released from their work assignments all the time for any number of reasons. Some are downsized out of a job. Some simply fail to produce the results that were expected. This happens in all industries under all sorts of circumstances.
But, I believe there is one thing that is a constant in all termination proceedings. One sheet of paper draws all professions together. What is it?
It is The List.
I’m a big fan of The List. It is the two minute warning of the working world. It means that you better get it done now in regulation time or your time here is over.
Again, let’s go back to my world of youth ministry. Many churches do a poor job of communicating expectations. They begin with a job description that outlines the duties of the job. But, very rarely does a job description communicate the expected outcomes of those duties. Therefore, it is not unusual for a youth minister to check off on the job description while at the same time not meet the expectations of his or her supervisor and the rest of the church.
That is why I like The List. It always clearly communicates the outcomes desired. Unfortunately, The List comes into play way too late. It is usually the result of a great deal of frustration and the unmet goals of the rest of the church (not the youth minister). When somebody gets served with The List, there are but two choices.
1. Do everything on The List, exceeding expectations where possible.
OR
2. Go and find another job ---- quickly!
Because if one doesn’t fulfill the expectations on The List in the time frame in which they are requested, The List is then used to justify one’s termination.
So, there are a lot of ways to look at The List. One could see it as the enemy. “What do they know about how I do my job?” “I’m the one hired to do this. Why are they telling me what to do?”
One could also use it as a wake up call. “Hmmm. I guess I need to get to work here if I want to keep this job.” “Am I well suited for the job they are asking me to do?” “What kind of help do I need – more training, counseling?” And, in some instances, “Do I need to seek legal counsel? This doesn’t feel right.”
What if the church started laying out expectations from the beginning? Produce The List early before things start going poorly. Or, (this is even better) how about developing The List with the youth minister's input at the outset of their employment? The List could become a dynamic set of goals that are reevaluated and assessed periodically.
Why am I a big fan of The List? I just think it needs to be used differently. There is nothing wrong with communicating clear expectations and reviewing the outcomes as they happen. There is a great deal of health in knowing strengths and shortcomings before things get difficult.
And, finally, an employee can be proactive here. Produce The List yourself. Show up to the next board meeting with a well thought out set of goals and outcomes. Be sure to make it realistic. You wouldn’t want to be fired on account of your own list. I have yet to see that happen, however. People in leadership are always impressed when someone develops and lives by their own metrics.
So, here’s hoping that the only list you will ever see is The List you write or help write yourself!!! I bet you’ll keep your job if you do.
I was asked today how I am fed in my work with the Youth Ministry Institute. I never considered the question, much less the answer. I am usually concerned more with accomplishing the mission at hand more than I care about the nourishment I might need to accomplish the mission.
Let me give an example with a little bit of back story.
My work week starts with a full day on Sunday and a day off on Monday (my Sabbath). Beginning on Tuesday I arrive at the office between 7:30 and 8:00. I’m usually the first one in the office other than our building maintenance manager. I never thought I would be getting to work early. When I was a college student I was amused at my older brother, a lawyer, who would begin his work day at 7:00 every morning so that he could have a couple of hours of uninterrupted work. I valued sleep more than uninterrupted work back then. So, an early bedtime gives me the energy I need to get to work around 7:30. By the way, on two mornings I get up at 5:00 so that I can play basketball at 6:00. Again, I never thought I would be that guy.
Typically I am out of the office on my way home between 4:30 and 5:00 in the afternoon. That is except for “Crazy Wednesday”. For most of the school year, I tutored math for my daughter’s 4th grade class beginning right after lunch on Wednesday. Wednesday is an early day and school would end shortly after my tutoring session. After school I would drive my three kids to my office where they would finish their homework and I would check it. Then, we would leave for piano lessons for an hour, grab dinner at Chick-fil-a, and then back to the office to eat before their choir rehearsal started. My wife would pick up our kids after rehearsal. Finally, I would meet with our youth leadership team usually getting home by 9:00 that night. Crazy, huh?
All of that leads up to Friday. Every Friday my goal is to finish a shortened agenda, leave around 1:00 for home to eat a late lunch. Now Friday afternoon in our office is like the few early hours in the morning every week day. There is not a lot of activity. Few phone calls, e-mails and people interrupt me on a Friday afternoon. Therefore, I get into a zone and crank out a great deal of work. I usually do most of my writing and in-depth planning on Friday. When I’m in a zone I don’t stop working. Therefore, working straight through lunch deprives me of needed nourishment. I finally made it to my point. Because of the task at hand, I don’t get fed – literally.
So, how do I get fed - spiritually? That was the question, wasn’t it?
The person asking me the question today will most likely enroll in the Youth Ministry Institute sometime next month. At least that was the purpose of our meeting. So, I had this desire to impress him with some deep theological answer. However, the delay in my answer may have communicated my inability to cleanly answer with a standard “quiet time every morning” or “group of friends that hold me accountable.” I do both of these things but I was wondering if those two things answered the question in the way he was asking. Frankly, my devotional time in the morning is sometimes a functional habit that is easily forgotten when I dive into the work of the day. While my friends that I meet with weekly are a great support to me, lately we have been focusing on someone other than me in the group. So, during this season, I have given more than I have received (I’m not complaining about that).
So, the question lingered for a bit. I told him about my church which would also be part of the standard set of answers. Then it hit me. I told him a little bit about the ongoing dialogue I have with God and my feeling of connectedness to God’s call on my life. Even though this is real, it still sounded like I was making it up (or, at the minimum an answer that is all too common and pious). But, the conversations with God were real on my 90 minute drive to meet with the person asking the question that day. Then, I thought about the other conversations I had that day and the few days leading up to his question.
I called James, a youth minister from Tallahassee who instructs in YMI, to let him know I met with a friend of his whom he recommended meet with me. His friend is exploring the possibility of being a youth minister. James also told me how he and Dan, a 2009 YMI graduate were having a great time at a conference that week. Jay, a 2010 graduate of YMI, called me to inquire about the new pastor that was being assigned to his church. I referred him to one of our coaches who knew the pastor better than I did. And, later that day I had plans to meet Jason, a 2011 YMI graduate, to talk over new strategies for his youth ministry.
I realized in that instant that I am fed by the new relationships that have developed as a result of my work in the Youth Ministry Institute. This was not networking in the business world sense. These are friends that share a common mission and passion. They encourage one another. They bear each other’s burdens.
Then I reflected on an e-mail from one of our graduates earlier in the week. She had a brief stay in the hospital and wanted me to know. Another of our current students was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Many of us are involved in a Facebook prayer chain. She starts chemotherapy in three weeks (there will be more definitive information in the next newsletter). I e-mailed her coach earlier in the week and told her how thankful I was that she was her coach. It is the perfect match given her circumstances.
The Youth Ministry Institute has always been about more than the Youth Ministry Institute. It is about the church – the people.
The Youth Ministry Institute envisions healthy, vibrant and dynamic local churches with skilled and effective youth ministers who lead youth in the formation of their faith so that they will positively impact their community and world.
That is our vision statement. I believe one way that happens is the formation of healthy supportive relationships. I am more than privileged to watch these youth ministers grow in their relationships with one another and with others connected to our work. I am part of it. That is how I am fed.
Most Recently
The Intensive
We are completing a successful experiment next month that involves deeper theological learning. We identified four core theological courses that seem to be part of the basic seminary experience. We decided to offer one core class each semester. Old Testament, New Testament, Theology and Church History are our four intensive classes.
Beginning last October, Brian Russell, a professor at Asbury Theological Seminary and newly elected YMI board member, began teaching the Old Testament. Each retreat he would conduct a four hour course packed with graduate level information. He will complete the course in a three day intensive in May. This will total 33 hours of classroom instruction on the Old Testament. Three of our graduates have come back to take this class. Others are planning to be part of the New Testament class offered in the fall (taught by Brian) and the Theology class that will be taught by Jonathan Grenz of Palm Beach Atlantic University next spring. Plans are to ask a professor from another seminary to teach the Church History class the following year.
The depth of theological learning balances out a curriculum that has been decidedly practical youth ministry application and adolescent development. We are excited to see the results in the spiritual formation of youth in the churches these youth ministers serve. We predict they will be excellent!
Partner Highlight
One of the goals this year is to expand our partnerships with more denominational entities. Talks are under way with the Episcopalian and Presbyterian churches. Soon the Assemblies of God and the Church of the Nazarene will be approached. Please pray that the Youth Ministry Institute will be a benefit to these other denominations.
I have been overtaxed! Taxes? Well, even though I paid a hefty bill on April 18th (my wife went back to work last year), I don’t mean that the government has been unjust towards just me (there is a political joke here that I won’t make).
I mean that my life has been a whirlwind the last two months. How do I know? Because I messed up two appointments in the last week. The first: I advertised a meeting at a time different from what the chair of the committee communicated to me. I corrected it before too many people were aware of the set time. Sorry, Todd. And, right now I’m sitting in my car in an Applebees parking lot in Tampa typing with my thumbs on my phone because I showed up to an appointment early – one week too early. Ugh! Luckily (or unluckily) I got the next appointment correct – at Applebees in 90 minutes.
I live with stress as we all do. After all, I have a job, wife, kids and bills to pay. When my stress affects the way I function and feel, I know that I’m overtaxed. Usually I sleep a lot, mess up appointment times or crave chocolate ( I just finished off a hot chocolate I felt obligated to buy from the coffee shop I sat in waiting for my next week’s appointment).
I am also only aware of my most intense stress after I have already been through it. When I am in the middle of it, I’m pretty hyper focused on the next task. I move from task to task with only sleep as my respite. Today is the day I have become aware of what I have been through the last couple of months. So, now that I am beyond the intensity, allow me to reflect.
February and March are filled with a frat deal of travel around the state. I meet with people (usually pastors and youth ministers) to tell them about the Youth Ministry Institute in hopes that they will participate or that they know of someone who will. My goal is to get the next year’s class together by the end of May. I put 3000 miles on my car and talk to nearly 75 people. I balance that with being the best father and husband that I can be. My absence from my wife and three children carries with it a certain amount of guilt. This, of course, adds to the stress.
In addition to all of what I would consider normal stress that I (and my family) have grown accustomed to, my wife and I decided to sell our home in hopes of eventually purchasing a larger one. 1200 square feet feels a lot smaller than it did three children ago. We ironed out a plan in February that would take seven weeks. It comprised of renovating two bathrooms, painting most of the interior walls, and taking everything that was non-essential and/or ugly and putting it in storage. Our goal was essentially to make our house look like ghosts lived there. Not the spooky kind. The kind that don’t eat, sleep or leave a trace of their existence. It took eight weeks (no surprise) and non-stop work (except for sleep). But, we made it. On Monday night, we signed the paperwork and already we have shown our house four different times. Whew!!!
That doesn’t mean the stress has ended. In fact, I’m not sure if it is healthy to live without any stress. Stress creates a tension that allows me to excel to my highest level of productivity. I am able to do things that I wasn’t previously aware that I could do. Prolonged tension does cause me to snap, however. It is the snapping I would like to avoid. Next week I will work on web site design, write articles for a newsletter, draft a partnership proposal and write some assessments for some of our students. These will all be hard work for me. But, I’m not underwater anymore. I think I can manage all of those things.
Soon Anne Taylor will be our longest tenured member of the board of directors for the Youth Ministry Institute. She is our secretary, a small group leader, a core competency assessor, a coach and an instructor for three classes in YMI. Anne is gifted (obviously) and is not afraid to use her gifts to help God’s love to become real in this world.
I first met Anne in a pool hall nearly 17 years ago. She was hustlin’ some tables. No, seriously, Anne had just been hired to be the youth minister at the Cathedral Church of St. Luke, an Episcopalian church in downtown Orlando. I was in my first year at my church in downtown Orlando. Anne reached out to me and invited me to lunch. We met at a place where I frequently lunched with one of the volunteers in my ministry. It was really the only place I knew of. I was that new to town. Every other week my friend and I would eat a sandwich and play a couple of games of pool before heading back to work.
My first lunch with Anne didn’t end in a game of pool. I’m too competitive and hate to lose. I wasn’t sure that my competitive side would place me in a favorable light no matter the outcome of the game. I don’t remember the content of the conversation. She probably does. But, I remember coming away feeling pretty confident that I had made a new friend.
Over the years we served on a board at the YMCA that gave middle school kids a place to be on Friday nights. We shared interest in mission projects culminating in her service on the board for the Christian Service Center and IDignity. The latter organization is run by our mutual friend, Michael Dippy, who was recently named Central Florida’s Person of the Year. We even planned an annual beginning of the school year retreat with the leadership kids from each of our churches combining to plan and run it. Every interaction I had with Anne Taylor became fruitful. She is a doer, not just a talker.
In 1998 when I started dreaming of what would eventually become the Youth Ministry Institute, I talked with Anne about her experiences with the Institute for Professional Youth Ministry, which had its run from 1986-1996 in the Episcopal Diocese of Central Florida. Some of the systems we use are modeled off of that Institute. Since the YMI board of directors first met in 2005, Anne’s wise counsel continues to impact the decisions that we make. She influences me, the youth ministers in our program and, as a result, impacts all of the youth they serve.
Anne is still the youth minister at The Cathedral. She even has two teenagers of her own that she has an opportunity to influence daily. She tends to all of her many roles to the level of excellence. I’m still not sure about her pool game, though.
On a side note, Anne Taylor likes clothes, yet is not responsible for the clothing line that bears her name. And, believe it or not, she is married to Chuck Taylor, who, likewise, has no stock in Converse.
Most Recently
Traveling Continued
I am nearing the end of my heaviest dose of traveling around the state. Since it is near the opening of the baseball season (by the way, I just met Evan Longoria, Rays third baseman, in a Tampa Panera a few hours ago), I am going to use some baseball terms to sum up my travels.
I would say that my on-base percentage has increased dramatically.
I typically e-mail youth ministers and pastors two weeks before I am visiting their area asking for an appointment. I am trying to network here. I might meet someone who wants to be in YMI. But, just as importantly, I might meet someone who would be a good coach or instructor or who would refer me to someone else to be in YMI. However, the most important thing I do in visiting communicates that relationships and connection are incredibly valuable. I want people to feel connected and supported. It is so easy for youth ministers to isolate themselves.
I typically get responses from about 30% of those to whom I send an e-mail. The others don’t write back. I call and leave messages for these people a couple of days in advance of my visit to their area. Some actually answer the phone when I call. After e-mails and phone calls, my appointment list is almost complete (3-5 appointments on a good day).
Before this year, I would take the 50% who wouldn’t respond to my e-mails or phone calls and simply show up on their doorstep to fill the rest of my travel time. I wanted people to know that I was serious about getting in touch with him. Most of these calls didn’t work out so well. I got a few annoying looks. Most people were gracious and listened to what I had to say. None of them became a YMI partner church.
So, this year I convinced myself that cold calls weren’t worth the “persistent and diligent” tag for which I was hoping. Therefore, my on-base percentage skyrocketed. I have visited with fewer churches (40 as opposed to 50). Most of them, however, were receptive and asked for a follow up phone call.
I have 27 solid hits this year.
I don’t remember feeling this good about the churches I have visited in the past. Some of those 27 will be left on base. But, it looks as if at least two runs will score in the early innings. Yesterday, two youth ministers told me they were filling out the application and asked me where to send it with their deposit check. That feels more like 2007 when we had a record ten youth ministers enroll in YMI. I’m praying that we will match or exceed that output.
The other phenomenon that is encouraging is that people know about YMI. Recently at a conference in Chicago, I introduced myself to a stranger and told him that I am the executive director of the Youth Ministry Institute. He replied, “I have heard of that.” Not convinced I asked him what he knew. And, he responded in such a way that I really believed that he had heard of it! My experience in Florida has been more of the same. Our reputation is starting to get some traction.
It is still early in the game. Pray for some productive innings ahead.
Partner Highlight
The Florida Conference of the United Methodist Church
The United Methodist Church has been a solid partner since the beginning of the Youth Ministry Institute. With a gift of $40,000 in its first year, the Florida Conference still holds the record for the largest single gift to YMI. It followed that with a $30,000 gift the second year. In retrospect, it is hard to imagine how YMI would have survived without this vote of confidence.
Now, three years removed from those gifts, the Florida Conference has made a strategic decision to fund YMI annually in exchange for a minimum number of church visits and consulting services. In addition, YMI agrees to supply the Florida Conference with the names of able instructors for training events for youth ministers. Quarterly meetings with their director reaffirms our strategy together and plans for the future.
YMI is looking to develop similar partnerships with networks of churches, presbyteries and dioceses. In addition, several networks of youth ministers may be able to benefit from the services rendered by YMI and vice versa. The Florida Conference of the United Methodist Church has provided a great model for how this can work well.
Coming Soon
Certification Ceremony
April 9th
1:00-2:00
Reformation Chapel
First Presbyterian Church
Orlando, FL
Come and witness the results of our two-year program. Celebrate with the following graduates:
Manu Bhatnagar – Plantation
Manu received his degree in Game Art and Design from The Art Institute of Ft. Lauderdale. He has been the Director of Technology at Plantation UMC since 2008 where he also volunteered in the youth ministry. He was hired to be the Director of Youth Ministry in October 2009 while maintaining his technological duties. He is married to Kelli.
Justin Cox – Orlando
Justin serves Director of Youth Ministries at First UMC, where he grew up. Since graduating in 2005 from Florida State University with a business degree with an emphasis in entrepreneurship (religious minor) he has been employed by the church. In December 2010 he married Carla.
Juan Flores – Largo
Juan was born in Lima, Peru. He has lived in the United States his entire adult life, volunteering in the youth ministry at Anona UMC for seven years where he has been the Director of Student Ministries since July 2009. Juan’s most recent career was in banking. He has an AA in business administration and management from St. Petersburg College. He is married to Dina and has two sons, Gabe and Jack, and a daughter, Graciana.
Greg Johnson – Maitland
Greg spent 20 years in the restaurant business. He received his training from the Opryland Hotel Culinary Institute in Nashville, Tennessee. Before being hired as the Director of Student Ministries at his home church in 2009, Asbury UMC, he was the janitor and the interim director. Greg is married to Leia and has a son, Adison.
Jason Williams – Seminole
Jason received his BA in religion from Southern Wesleyan University in Central, South Carolina, in 2006. He has since lived in Australia and Wilmore, Kentucky, in various ministry capacities. He was given the chance to interview for the Youth and Young Adult Pastor position at Aldersgate UMC when he happened to meet the person who would become his senior pastor while serving him at a local coffee shop in Wilmore in 2009.
I had a number of favorite television shows when I was a little kid. These are shows that probably don’t even run in syndication anymore. Have you ever seen Land of the Giants? It was a science fiction half hour show that consisted of people like you and me traveling in a space ship and inadvertently landing on a planet of giants that consisted of people like you and me. Very odd. Their biggest challenges were the bugs in the grass where their space ship landed and getting at things that weren’t on the ground. They would use safety pins and string in order to climb their way to the tops of tables, etc.
Another show I watched when I was very young was Mission:Impossible. Thanks to Tom Cruise, everyone knows about the premise of this show. In the TV show, the IMF team were good guys – none of this double crossing confusion. It was straightforward. Jim Phelps would hear the mission via an audio tape. The tape would self-destruct in 5 seconds and the show was off and rolling. The team would gather to accomplish the mission using great ingenuity and near flawless timing (or in its absence, good luck). They righted the wrongs of the world one at a time.
I love that concept!
That’s why I go to church. No, I don’t wear disguises or an ear piece or carry a weapon. I go to church because I believe in the mission. I don’t go because I want to be entertained. I don’t even go, most of the time, because I want to be inspired or challenged in my faith. Crazy, huh? I bet a lot of people are looking for those things.
So, what is the mission, you may ask???
Ironically, Jesus put it pretty simply. I’ll paraphrase it. Love God by Loving People. Love rights the wrongs of the world. I can’t do that by watching the tele-evangelist on TV every morning. I can’t do that by hiking in the woods. And, yeah, I can’t do that if I just sit in a pew on Sunday mornings and sing songs either.
But, I have come to realize that the most dramatic movement for good in the world continues to be the Christian church (at least when it stays focused on Jesus, the Christ, and not some narrow interpretation of who deserves God’s love and who doesn’t). The Peace Corps does good work. There are other organizations that have done very good things. Bill Gates is even doing his fair share of good things. But, all of that is temporary fixes for long term problems. The Christian church has stood the test of time.
2000 years is a long time to keep a movement moving forward. How can you ignore the track record? Sure, there were setbacks. The Crusades seems to be the setback that most people talk about. Yeah, the Crusades were embarrassing and wrong. And, it might prove why government and religion make poor bedfellows. But, the beauty is that with every setback, the Christian church bounces back when it becomes refocused on Jesus and his teachings.
Love God by Loving People.
When I go to church on Sundays, I sing the songs. Occasionally I am inspired. But, I sing them because I believe they move me and the people with whom I am singing to do something that is in line with the mission. It starts in the community of people with whom I share the mission. With their help, we are more able to do more.
I can’t do it all by myself. In my church (which isn’t different from a lot of churches) we participated in providing housing for the homeless, services for the needy, identification cards for the poor, and homes for the working poor. We provide a place where music and the arts can be celebrated in multiple expressions. We provide child care for working families, a place for teenagers, a break for families with mentally and physically disabled family members and a respite for those in the later years of life. I am sure that I am leaving out 50-100 things that our church does weekly. I’m sure there are many other things that we could do that we aren’t doing. The fact is that there are many things that we want to do, but simply haven’t started yet.
Show me a single civic club or any secular organization that does it like the church. Oh, there is messiness in the church (and all other organizations, for that matter). People cause the mess. Not everyone gets along all the time. People become distracted from the mission. Some forget the mission and try to grab power. Some want to personally benefit. Hmmm. Sounds familiar to me. Jesus had to deal with the power hungry in his own circle of friends. One wanted to benefit personally. And there was plenty of confusion and redirection. It is difficult, and often messy, to get everyone moving towards the same goal at the same time.
Today a friend of mine, Sherrie, told me how her husband termed the messiness. Again, I’ll paraphrase.
Noah had a mission. It seemed a little crazy – build a giant boat to get ready for a giant flood. The mission was clear. The rain came. The land flooded. And the giant boat represented the only hope for a broken world. As the days went by, can you imagine the smell that developed inside that boat? It was messy.
Stay with the messy boat. Believe in the mission. Or, swim on your own and drown.
I’m staying with the boat because I believe in the mission.
I had never visited Zephyrhills. I knew that it was home to a spring that produced some pretty famous water. But, that’s all I knew. It was 2006 and our first YMI class had just begun. I wasn’t sure what avenue would be the best to get the word out about what we planned to do to help youth ministers and their churches.
When John Gaines, the chairperson of the personnel committee at First UMC in Zephyrhils, called me to consult with them about hiring a youth minister, I hadn’t completely perfected the pre-hiring consulting workshop I now have done for over 30 churches. And, frankly, I wasn’t clear about whether they were planning to hire a youth minister or not.
I met with the committee after having been greeted by an elderly staff member. The makeup of the committee wasn’t much younger. They quickly told me about the number of neighborhood kids that played basketball on their property. They wanted desperately to reach these youth. They didn’t know how and were concerned that the age makeup of their congregation wouldn’t be inviting.
I also learned that Zephyrhills was quickly being swallowed up by the suburban sprawl of Tampa. Within ten years, the network of highways would make their once rural community more accessible to the city. Great potential existed here and a group of people willing to explore the possibilities.
So, I gave them my best advice and encouragement, telling them that once they hire a youth minister, our program will help them accomplish their goals. I left. I sent a couple of follow up e-mails over the subsequent weeks and months. It didn’t appear that they had chosen a solid direction. Since they didn’t hire a youth minister, I moved on to some other churches that appeared to be more ready for our services.
Two years later, after a change of pastors, I visited the church again on a scheduled 30 minute appointment. The new pastor, Ken Minton, happened to be the pastor who married my wife and me. Ken told me about the new youth director they hired some months prior. Melissa was presently enrolled in seminary. She graduated from the University of South Florida, married Jarrit Tadlock and started in her first youth ministry position the previous year. Lots of life changes for Melissa, who I later knew as Missy.
Ken gave her the option of continuing seminary or enrolling in YMI. At the time we had two students who were doing both. But, the church was paying the tab. Missy chose YMI. She impressed me as somebody who had a deep and committed faith, yet she lacked self confidence, often second guessing her decisions. YMI doesn’t give a person self confidence. It creates an environment of support and nurture, so that when a youth minister makes a mistake (we all do) then there is adequate margin to reflect on the places the mistake emanated. Developing a healthy attitude towards success and failure builds self confidence. But, ultimately, the youth minister has to do this work.
Missy progressed slowly at first, reflecting her cautious attitude. As we neared the end of the first year, Missy had obviously worked on developing some great skills. Then, she broke the news. She was pregnant. Another life change!
During her first year, her husband (who I later called Jerry) became an integral part of the church’s youth ministry. He seemed to be a great balance. Missy and Jerry were discovering they enjoyed sharing ministry together. As the birth of their son, Gabe, came close, Missy, Jerry and Ken began discussing what the youth ministry might look like after November 2009. They agreed that Missy would finish her second year of YMI and that Jerry would eventually take over the full time duties sometime after Gabe was born.
The transition of responsibility worked. Missy’s coach, Stephanie, began meeting with Jerry and Missy (and Gabe) on a monthly basis. Missy continued to have significant influence on the ministry while Jerry ran the day to day operations. Missy’s confidence had grown exponentially.
In the summer of 2010, after Missy completed our program, I met with Ken, Stephanie, Missy, Jerry and Gabe at the Cracker Barrel to do our final consultation, the ending point of a youth minister’s involvement with YMI. It was a great meeting, other than the collard greens. They tasted like grass as Ken had predicted. However, the meeting ended unexpectedly.
Ken turned to me and announced that they would like to enroll Jerry in YMI. I like “firsts”. This would be the first time a husband and wife had ever been enrolled in YMI. It was also the first time a church asked us to partner a second time. I was also in the middle of finalizing the members of our new beginning class. Jerry’s addition to the class would be a positive experience.
It has been such a pleasure to work with this church over the last five years. I have had front row seats, watching the church define its youth ministry more completely. There aren’t any questions about what to do with the kids that show up to play basketball. Missy, Jerry and their team of adult volunteers engage them in programs that meet twice per week as well as other opportunities that meet the needs of the youth in the community. The church has felt an influx of young families that reflects a balance age distribution that exists in their community. The church continues to think creatively about the future possibilities as Tampa sprawls towards Zephyrhills.
There is more than just a spring that produces water in Zephyrhills. I know. I have been there.
Most Recently Dessert Success
How can a dessert not be a success? One would have to try pretty hard to mess up cheese cake or spoil the chocolate. Beyond the yummy after dinner snacks, 137 people stayed to enjoy the program that featured some video clips and live testimonies from youth ministers and the youth in their groups.
Most who attended have asked me, “How did we do?” First of all the question makes me feel great. Because “WE” did it together. I am unable to do this by myself without the support of so many that believe it is important to empower our youth ministers so that they may be more effective with middle and high school people. So, yes, WE did GREAT!
We raised more at this event than we have in previous fund raisers. That’s good because our budget goal is $8000 more than last year. The gifts continue to trickle in from the event. In addition, a letter went out to our 170 other donors the week after the fund raiser. I’ll keep you posted on the overall results.
Here’s the really neat story. This may define success greater than the dollar amounts.
Dan Segale, a 2009 YMI graduate, and his wife, Nikole, came to the dessert from Brandon. He is in his fourth year as the youth minister at St. Andrew’s UMC. He called me the week prior and said that he knew a person in his church who would be making a donation to YMI. He wanted to be sure of our acknowledgment procedure, etc. I gave him all the information. I write a personal thank you note and then a statement is issued at the end of the year for tax purposes. He thanked me. And, I was excited that somebody from his church was interested in supporting YMI.
The night after the dessert I began tabulating the gifts. I opened the envelope from Dan’s table and it revealed six gifts totaling $700 from members of his church. I was moved by the gesture. I later told Dan that it “took my breath away.”
Obviously, there are people who give more. And, many others have given to the level of these individuals. However, these gifts represented great meaning to me. They said,
YMI made a difference for our church.
It was an affirmation of Dan’s leadership and our work with him to help him reach his potential.
Other churches have banded together to make similar donations. Typically the senior pastor and another staff member decide to make a significant contribution. This also affirms our work. I appreciate these gifts a great deal also.
However, a powerful statement is issued when church members see the tangible value of the work of YMI and respond in this way. Wow. It almost takes my breath away.
Partner Highlight
Southwestern College
From the beginning the Youth Ministry Institute sought validity for its educational principles from the academy. I have claimed that those enrolled in YMI will forget less of what they have learned and be able to apply it immediately to their ministry setting. We needed an academic institution that viewed it in that manner too.
Southwestern College is that academic institution. Through it’s nearly decade old online professional studies program, those that complete all the requirements in the Youth Ministry Institute will be able to transfer up to 15 hours of credit to Southwestern College towards a degree. The remaining work can be completed through its six week online courses.
It is the perfect anecdote for those that don’t have immediate access to this level of education. In addition, it validates our curriculum and our instructors. We have done a great deal of work in formalizing our learning objectives, outcomes and evaluative procedures so that our students will have the best possible instruction.
There is another great advantage. The 15 hours can be applied towards a bachelors degree or a masters degree depending on what academic level the student has achieved. This gives all students value even if they have never attended college.
The Youth Ministry Institute is one of a handful of organizations that Southwestern College has reviewed through its extra-institutional accreditation process. That process encourages the process of education as much as it values the results.
Our partnership agreement has passed through all of the academic committees and administration hoops at Southwestern College. In early March our board of directors plans to authorize me to sign it to make it official. In late March our last instructor will sign on to teach one of our four core theological classes (a new addition to the curriculum that will increase classroom learning to over 300 hours). We will then submit these hours for review so that we might increase the amount of academic credit.
I look forward to continuing to foster a solid connection with Southwestern College.
Coming Soon
I am traveling again!!! My 1997 Ford Explorer is a testament to the fact that if you keep the oil changed, a car should run well beyond 150,000 miles. Topping out at 20 miles per gallon, I will travel over 3000 miles this spring, visiting with pastors and youth ministers from at least 50 churches.
My message? I’m telling them about the Youth Ministry Institute. The goal is to get as many people talking about the work that we are doing in Florida. A church doesn’t have to be a potential partner church to meet with me. Pastors and youth ministers make referrals to me all the time.
I have been traveling around Central Florida since the beginning of the new year because that is where I live and it is pretty easy to get around. Last week I was in Southeast Florida (between Fort Lauderdale and Vero Beach). Here is the extent of my planned upcoming schedule. I am continually adding appointments. So, let me know if you want to meet with me or you would like me to meet with someone else when I am in your area.
Eastern Florida (Melbourne to Ormond Beach) March 1-2
Lakeland Area March 3
North Florida (Jacksonville to Gainseville to Tallahassee) March 15-17
Tampa Bay Area March 29-31
South Florida (Sarasota to Naples to Miami) April 11-12
I am sitting in front of my balcony window typing this. I have seen some beautiful views from the balcony. In fact, the balcony sometimes provides a bird’s eye perspective on life. I can see further. I can see a bigger picture of what’s below me. I remember, as a kid, I always wanted to sit in balconies – at church, concerts, etc. In reflection, I think I wanted to be in the balcony as a kid so that I could see the entire production, one that I was probably too short to see from the floor. My perspective from the floor, no matter how good the production, was flawed.
So, the view from the balcony changes my perspective. It fits closer to reality. I turned 48 this month – young to some and old to others. I feel like I have been able to move to some balcony seats in recent years. My job has changed. I am more of a consultant, advisor, mentor and coach. I seem to assert my view from the balcony more often. It is requested. I feel permission to give it. And, it is received most of the time.
I don’t want to say that I see things without any emotional attachment. But, I have been in a new place emotionally with my opinions. In other words, I am more than okay with opposing perspectives on the same issue that come from the floor or other balconies. It doesn’t upset me when people disagree with me. For me, that has been rather liberating.
I’m also aware of one who sits in a higher balcony – that has greater perspective than I. So, I don’t want to presuppose that I have more accurate opinions and thoughts than God. Being open to and aware of God’s perspective results in a calming influence on my soul.
Recently, in my role as a church consultant, I issued some pretty strong opinions to help direct church leadership in working with their youth minister. The church leadership didn’t follow my advice. I played my role as a strong advocate and literally did everything that I knew how to do while still remaining professional. They moved in a different direction. While their decision saddens me, I am okay with the direction they have chosen. You see, their prospective is extremely valid even if counters mine. And, if God is moving in this situation, who am I to question the outcome?
I don’t always like everything I see from the balcony. But, the perspective is valuable for the next time I am in a similar situation.
As I write this, the balcony from which I am currently looking at will have the same view for the rest of this week. I get to see the blue Pacific Ocean, the coast of Mexico, an occasional whale or pod of dolphins and a few vibrant ports of call during the week. I am on a cruise with my parents, celebrating their wedding anniversary. I don’t get to look out this kind of balcony often. I literally have never had a balcony on a cruise (this is my second) and I don’t often take this much time to distress and unbusy my life.
I’m guessing that I’ll gain greater perspective on more than just the Pacific Ocean. I’m hopeful for moments of clarity and self reflection. In each of my first two days, having seen the sun rise over the shore of Mexico, I’m reminded about the vastness of God’s creation and the expanse of possibilities in life. I’m reminded about the rhythmic way in which our lives operate the best, from sunrise to sunset.
So, I can’t help but to enjoy THIS balcony. But, regardless of the location of the balcony, the view is always good up here. The view is always good!
Ethan Smith enrolled in the Youth Ministry Institute in its inaugural year. He has a PCA background and his theology is definitely reformed. In fact, when Ethan talks about theology, he gets very passionate. His perspective, along with the perspectives of others, created some great debates over meals and other times when classroom learning took a back seat to expository learning.
Ethan was one of two people hired by the Youth Ministry Institute in the first year, acting as guinea pigs, in order to get direct feedback on the learning and coaching processes. When he completed the two-year program, he and his wife, Holly, moved to Scotland where he became the youth worker at Smithton-Culloden Free Church. They have since added a daughter to their clan. I have asked him to write for this issue, providing his perspective on life as a youth minister and how the Youth Ministry Institute helped him on his journey. Here's Ethan:
When Steve called me in the spring of 2006 and recruited me for the Youth Ministry Institute (YMI), I was a bit skeptical at first. After all, the Institute had not even had their first class, so I would essentially be a guinea pig for this experiment. Fortunately, Steve had a vision and a plan for what he wanted the YMI to become.
Though my first year in the YMI was very much exploratory in some ways, I never felt like Steve was just “wingin’ it”. We had the structure of coaching, seminars, and conventions, but we also had freedom to network with other youth workers and talk about what happens on the front lines of youth ministry. It was as if YMI had been established for 10 years.
It seems that the trend in ministry is to use youth work as a stepping stone to something “bigger and better”. It’s no surprise, then, that youth workers do not usually stay in their jobs for very long. But the goal of the YMI is to produce skilled youth workers who are trained and fit to make a career out of ministering to teenagers. It’s a complete mindshift from where youth ministry was just 10 years ago.
On a personal level, after my two years in the YMI, I was well-equipped to dive headfirst into youth ministry. And it’s a good thing I was, because my first job out of the YMI was a youth worker position at a church in the Highlands of Scotland. I was not simply moving to a new state or climate, I was moving to a new country and culture.
Those that know me well would not say I am the most structured person in the world. But the YMI not only gave me opportunities to fine-tune my strengths, it trained me how to work on my weaknesses as well. Especially helpful were YMI seminars where I learned long-term planning and organizational skills. I have even received many compliments from adult leaders and parents about how organized I am.
Another strength of the YMI was the assigned reading and discussion on relevant youth ministry topics, e.g. how to plan and implement small groups, safety guidelines, and how to work well with parents. Critical thinking was encouraged, which gave the YMI participants an opportunity to discuss various scenarios that may occur when working with youth and families. This, along with being coached by a youth ministry veteran, thoroughly prepared me to take on any situation that may come up when working with teens.
I am thankful God led me to the Youth Ministry Institute to train as a youth worker. I have learned skills that are invaluable for ministry and life. My hope is that more youth workers would explore the idea of attending the YMI to get the proper training and education needed to be a successful youth minister.
Most Recently
Perkins School of Youth Ministry
I could write a book called, “Before They Were Bishops.” I have met a few before they ascended to greater responsibility. I haven’t met many after their ascent. I just don’t interface with church hierarchy that often. I am intrigued by Bishops, however. My dad actually named me “the Little Bishop” before I was born. It is a family nickname that has stuck and as I have grown older, it became shortened to “Bish.” So, it should be well within my namesake to cavort with Bishops.
An opportunity arose two weeks ago at Perkins School of Youth Ministry. It all began on our second day when we had gathered in the hallway after one of our classes to discuss some comments that one of the professors made about the rapture. A spirited debate erupted between some of our YMI youth ministers. It is hard to shut anyone out of a debate when it happens in the hallway. So, an 80 year old man entered the fracas. He essentially calmed the waters while providing incredible insight. So, out of appreciation one of our youth ministers invited him to dinner. We all laughed knowing that we had just met and the chances of all of us intersecting at just the right time were slim.
That night the twelve of us were walking across our hotel parking lot to Humperdinks, a restaurant we had enjoyed the night before. As we left the hotel, out walks our elderly friend and his son. Steve and Bishop Dick Wilke joined us for dinner that night. They sat in the middle seats of our four tables that were pushed together to form one and carried the conversation for nearly two hours. They were funny, interesting and engaging. For many in our group, that was the highlight of the week.
Every conference that we attend, I arrange for somebody (a theologian, a renowned youth minister or an author) to meet with our group privately so that we might pick their brain and they ours. I would like to think I had something to do with this meeting, too. After all I am a Bishop, too!
Partner Highlight
Youth Ministry Architects
This is not all about the youth minister. Sure, our mission is to “empower youth ministers to become skilled and effective leaders.” But, one way to empower the youth minister is to look at the church system in which the youth minister works thereby allowing the church to fully participate in youth ministry with the youth minister leading the charge. This is sustainable.
The Youth Ministry Architects, a partner with YMI, moves churches to sustainablility. Mark DeVries, their founder and a long time Presbyterian youth minister in Nashville, created a process for client churches by listening to a dozen focus groups over three days. They share their hopes and dreams, their concerns and struggles. The outcome is fabulous. Churches begin to take ownership of the youth ministry. This process is critical to the success of the youth ministry.
The Architects send a lead consultant to our partner churches who joins forces with the coach, assigned by YMI to the youth minister for the duration of the two-year program. After listening to dozens of people (youth, parents, staff, volunteers), they both spend nearly 24 hours composing a report listing strengths, challenges and making recommendations for the youth ministry based on what they have heard and observed. The final result is a time line that creates the “to do” list for the youth minister over the next two years. The coach, having created the time line, is able to help the youth minister accomplish the tasks, many of which revolve around involving others in the process of doing youth ministry.
Churches experience success as they build a sustainable youth ministry by checking one item at a time off the "to do" list. It isn't rocket science. It is persistence, continuing to stick to a plan that reaps rewards further down the line.
Again, I am thankful for our partnership with the Youth Ministry Architects. They represent a permeating value of YMI. We don’t know it all. But we are connected to people who, collectively, do!
Today is my dad’s birthday. He would be 89. He died just short of his 52nd birthday. I think about him every year on this day and the day that he died. So, needless to say the Christmas holidays take on a different meaning for me than they do most.
I have a number of images of my dad. Some were given to me by the impressions of others. Some are my own observations, a perspective of a child. My dad commanded a room. He was loud, liked to tell jokes and laugh at them. He also liked to tease. He teased my mom, his mom, my brother and sister and me. Sometimes he went too far. But, most of the time, it was understood that if you couldn’t laugh at yourself, then you would be in for more teasing.
In fact, I have a recording of his voice on an old cassette tape calling me a “nincompoop”. I’m not sure what a “nincompoop” is. But, I knew it was a funny word. So, at age 7 or 8, I called him a “nincompoop” back. The recording of his voice (the only one I know of) goes back and forth between he and I for several minutes calling each other “nincompoops” using different inflections in our voice attempting to have the last word, another one of my dad’s traits.
So, I often wonder what it would be like to have him around today. What would he think of me now? I’m sure he would call me a “nincompoop” in jest. But, what other words of wisdom would he give to me? You see he left our lives too early. My brother and sister, while older, were still just beginning to experience adulthood at 21 and 25 when he died. Life hadn’t fully crystallized for them either.
I wonder if my teenage years would have distanced us in a way that seems to happen in many families. People tell me that our personalities are a lot alike. That is usually the recipe for conflict for parents and children.
I often wonder if I would have been drawn to become a youth minister. My dad was a pastor and even started his doctoral thesis on youth ministry, which I didn’t find out until much later in life. The irony of my calling and choice to follow that calling spooks me at times.
My understanding of God is fully connected to my feelings surrounding my own father. I feel lost without him sometimes. And, then, a wave of assurance washes over me that, somehow, I have become the person he would want me to be. I search for a love that is tangible and end up finding love, grace and forgiveness in the most unlikely places, such as my own shortcomings and failures. I’m positive that in those times that I have a heavenly father and an earthly father that are standing side by side smiling, knowing that I will pick myself up again, searching for a better way to live life.
That is the message of the Bible, isn’t it? It isn’t just about whether I believe in God. It is that God believes in me, too, that makes the difference in my life. Another wave of assurance sure to be followed by doubt and, then, another wave.
Well, it is yesterday now, my dad’s birthday that is. I waited too long to post this. Ha. I feel just like a nincompoop, whatever that is!
How can one feel successful even in the midst of what appears to not be success?
Well, that is a key to living life.Jesus had this way of turning a negative into a positive; repairing the broken; giving sight to the blind.
The purpose of this column is to give you some insight into the real life results of the Youth Ministry Institute. So, in our second edition, I’m going to tell you what didn’t work.Some would say, “Not a wise move.”But, in it are the redemptive powers of God.
Emily, a graduate of a Nazarene university near Chicago, began her career in youth ministry in Port Orange, Florida.She wanted to be close to her brother and her nephews.She was like a fish out of water.She exchanged the change of seasons and the bitter Lake Michigan wind for all forms of summer and a mild breeze off the Atlantic Ocean. Working for the first time in a full time job isn’t easy.Living far away from familiar surroundings and friends adds to the degree of difficulty.Emily quickly learned that her new church was reeling from the impact of the recession, being located in an area that depends somewhat on tourism.Her pastor was moved mid year and that made things a little bit more difficult.At the end of one year, she was ready to give up.
It is at this point I would insert Calvary music (not the hill, but the military outfit) and myself up on the white horse.I really thought the Youth Ministry Institute could solve all of Emily’s problems – create new friends for her, teach her to be a youth minister and help her church become functional once again.Don’t get me wrong.We did some of it.In fact Emily’s quote is the first one you will read on our web site.“The Youth Ministry Institute was literally one of the best things that could have ever happened to me in ministry! I went into Youth Ministry without a ministry degree and this program really equipped me to bring the BEST to my ministry.”She’s quoted another couple of times and was our featured speaker at our fundraiser last year.
One of the goals of the Youth Ministry Institute is that we want to see our youth ministers stay five years or longer at any one church.This breaks the average and allows youth ministers to create sustainable ministries that allow youth to dive deeper into their faith.It didn’t work out that way in Emily’s case.After three years at her church, she and the pastor agreed that her employment should end.
Emily and the pastor agreed that I should come over and spend the evening with their youth group and parents when they broke the news.It was painful watching the emotions on the faces of the youth when one of the church leaders broke the news to them.I cried.I then, spent two hours with the parents.They were hearing it for the first time and the emotions ranged from anger to sadness to confusion.It was very hard.I took a turn at the end attempting to interject some hope into what seemed like a dismal situation.After speaking with the pastor and Emily, I left that evening feeling like I had been run over by a car while watching everyone else get hit by a monster truck.
I have reflected a lot on that situation.I was honored to be trusted by both the pastor and the youth minister.I was impressed that they both were able to listen to my small nuggets of advice in the midst of their very real emotions.I was amazed how God worked in spite of the complexity of the situation to bring healing and wholeness.
Now, six months later Emily is the youth minister at a larger church.Her previous pastor gave her a glowing recommendation.The church in Port Orange hired a new youth minister.I was asked to consult with them before they began the interviewing process so that they might develop a profile of the person they were seeking before they began the interview process.
Her exit lowered my stats, one of the metrics I use to gauge success.Thankfully, it isn’t all about statistics.The success, in this instance, rested in the ability to walk with people who were making difficult decisions.Success was defined by an ability to listen and respond with assurance, kindness and encouragement.Success was trusting in the redemptive nature of God, a God who turns the miserable into majesty.
It is the Christmas story, isn’t it?It is Christ being born in us again and our recognition of His active work in the world around us, especially when we don’t feel successful.Praise God for His redeeming grace in my life and the lives of others …. and in your life!
Most Recently
The Nashville Experience
I remember driving through Nashville on my way from Kansas City, my home town, to Florida, my new home over twenty years ago. The interstate view of the city at that point in time wasn’t very attractive. It looked dirty. And, I remember thinking to myself, “I’m glad I’m not moving here.”
That has all changed. Nashville is the site for the Youth Workers National Convention nearly every other year. Our group stayed downtown utilizing the convention center for classes and the arena for the general sessions. I like to pay attention to detail. So, we were sure to eat at the restaurants recommended by Urban Spoon, a reputable culinary review web site. We weren’t disappointed. Couple that with the music of Nashville and we had the complete cultural experience.
When we travel to conferences and schools for the Youth Ministry Institute, I have a number of goals in mind. Obviously, the conference has to be worth our time. The speakers and workshops have to be good. I want our people to be exposed to those that are thinking deeply about how to continue to do youth ministry better. I want spiritual respite to happen. We all need it. And, most of the time, we have to physically get away before we are fully able to disengage. In fact, it takes more than a few days for some to completely relax and let God move them. Most would agree we need this in every profession.
And, lastly, I want the group to bond. We are finding, at the Youth Ministry Institute, that healthy peer relationships do more to promote longevity and perseverance in youth ministry than anything else. Minus YMI, youth ministers are on an island, the only one doing their brand of ministry in their church usually. There aren’t enough hours in the day to develop relationships completely with people outside the church in which they are working. In fact, there aren’t enough hours to develop relationships with all the people in the church! So, YMI manufactures time with peers. And it is significant time, too. It is not superficial.
For instance, on Sunday morning, the convention featured a pretty controversial speaker. Some of our youth ministers had highly emotional opinions about the speaker and whether it was appropriate to have him speak at the convention. We spent nearly two hours working though feelings and opinions. Some told some very personal stories. Theological issues of redemption and forgiveness and transparency were all discussed. At times, the conversation was tough. But through it all, we knew that the love of Jesus holds us together and that we were bonded by that love and held accountable to love one another even in disagreement. We didn’t reach any conclusions. And, many had to continue to process well after the conversation was over. As I reflected, I knew that we wouldn’t have been able to have that kind of conversation if we only met for lunch once a month. Trust needed to be present. Respect follows trust.
Frankly, YMI promotes these elements of community that will continue to move the church to be the church God intended. That is what it’s all about anyway, right?
Partner Highlight
YOU
YMI values partnerships! Clicking on the web site “prospective partner” icon opens up the array of educational, ministry, and consulting partners with whom we share resources. I have always been of the opinion that ideas are better generated with more people involved using their area of expertise or God’s giftedness in strategizing for a great outcome. This defines the Youth Ministry Institute.
You are one such partner!!! If you have an area of giftedness or expertise you would like to share that fits with the mission and vision of YMI, then please e-mail me or call me. We also value your financial contributions. Our goal is to involve more people in supporting our vision of increasing the effectiveness of the church. To that end, I would encourage you to forward this newsletter to someone who might be interested in supporting our work.
By the way, you now can make financial contributions online. The “Make a Donation” button appears on the prospective partner events pages on the web site and at the bottom of this newsletter. You are very important. Thanks for being a partner!
Coming Soon
Perkins School of Youth Ministry
The second week of January, we will travel to Dallas, Texas, to participate in the Perkins School of Youth Ministry. I have special fondness for this school. My father graduated from seminary at Perkins School of Theology. So, in my first year as a youth minister, when I received a flyer for this new school of youth ministry that Perkins was starting, I jumped at the chance to go. After four consecutive years, I was part of the first certified class to complete the course work. I later spent three years on the design team and taught at the school on four different occasions. The practical and theological education have been a real helpful mix here in the past. I’m looking forward to more of the same for our group of youth ministers.
Monday is normally my day off. Sorry to all of you who have to begin your work or school week on Monday. In fact, that makes my day off even more sweet - knowing that most of the world is working at something while I am generally working at nothing.
So, "day off" is a bit of a misnomer. It means I don't sit in my office. For instance this past Monday I started my day at the grocery store at 8:00. I then wrapped and mailed packages for Christmas. From the post office I went to the nursery to buy blankets for my tropical plants. It was supposed to and did get below freezing on Monday night. I didn't want banana plant to die this year (like it does every year) and figured the proper covering would do better than the cheap sheets from Wal-Mart.
I then went to Home Depot where I bought a replacement toilet paper holder. Somehow my youngest son maneuvered his body in such a way to break the old one. I also needed a door knob after my daughter closed her door and couldn't open it - exasperated only by her need to go to the bathroom. I know. I know. A lot seems to revolve around the bathroom at our house. From Home Depot I went to exchange some gifts at Target and Toys R Us (how do all the other stores stay in business?).
Upon returning home I cleaned out the pool, covered the plants and talked to my brother on the phone while I changed into nicer clothes. I had to be in Clermont to get my new drivers license at 4:00 (this is another whole story for another blog) and then on to New Port Richey to consult with the leadership of a church getting ready to hire a new youth minister.
I squeezed in lunch at home and dinner from Wendys in my car.
Whew! That was my day off! There! I really put it to all you working stiffs out there! While you were in meetings or in class, I was day offing it all over the state!!!
On my way home from New Port Richey I was tuning into some good classic rock at a little past 10:00 when I heard a strange sound come from my right front bumper. It sounded like I ran over and was dragging bubble wrap. Well, I pulled over to check it out. And this is what I saw - my shredded tire.
I got back in the car and dutifully turned on my hazard lights.
I then contemplated. What are my options? I am not a Triple A member. I am 8 miles past Lakeland and 50 miles from my house. There are no houses around. It is cold, only the coldest night of 2010 - no joke. I can see the next exit, but there are no gas stations or other businesses. Hmmm. I guess I'll have to change the tire. I've only done this once before in my life. My car came with all the right equipment. I should be able to do this. I know where the jack is. I'll get it first. I call my wife to let her know the reason for my delay and get to work. Wasn't this my day off?
So, I got out of my car again and opened the back of my Ford Explorer. I move some of the Christmas boxes around. Instead of taking all the empty boxes that used to hold our decorations back to our storage unit, I decided to keep them in my car for the five weeks between Thanksgiving and New Years thereby saving a trip. Great idea unless one is trying to remove the jack from the back of the car. I got the jack and also found the instructions on how to use it. This will help.
I close the back and take the instructions with me back into the front seat of my warm car. Did I mention that it was the coldest night of the year? I read the instructions. Evidently there are some jack handle extensions hidden underneath the back seats, which were folded down and covered with Christmas boxes. My previous storage decision is quickly not seeming like a great decision. I wrestle with the boxes and the floor board, getting the proper equipment assembled.
Evidently, I have to open the back of my car again to crank down the spare tire. As I'm doing this, I think that it would sure be nice if someone stopped to help me. Hmmm. What if someone did stop? How do I know if they really want to help me? What if they don't see a stranded motorist in need of help? But, instead they see a wealthy middle class guy with his car loaded with boxes full of Christmas gifts!!! Who's going to believe me when I say, "Really, there's nothing in those boxes! Don't shoot me!!!"
I crank faster!!!
The tire is down. I labor to get it unattached. I'm starting to get a little panicky. The semis seem to be coming really close to me. After I notice that one of my hazard lights isn't blinking, I think I might die from being hit by one of them. Then, I hope for the Highway Patrol to stop. No. I don't want a ticket for the burned out hazard light. I move the spare to the front of the car.
I crank again, this time on the jack to get the car high enough so that I can change the tire. Thankfully the lug nuts come off easily. Thank you, Goodyear, for hand tightening them like you are supposed to do. The spare doesn't fit, yet. I crank some more. Still no fit. I crank......and crank........and crank.........and crank. I don't feel the cold anymore. I have worked up some body heat.
I get the tire on. Now, I'm feeling that I have a shot at not dying from some wayward semi-truck or empty box robbers. Hypothermia never crossed my mind, although now it does. All I have to do is crank the car down and crank the shredded tire up into the place where the spare was kept.
I do it. I get in the car and call my wife to proudly state that I have lived through the experience and will be home within the hour. After a stop to go to the bathroom and check the tire pressure on my spare, I make it home without incident.
I don't only think about death when I have a flat tire at night on the interstate. I actually think about death a lot when I am by myself. Why am I so preoccupied with it? Today, December 17th, is the 37th anniversary of my dad's death. He died when I was 10 of a brain aneurism. I think about death a lot because I want to stay around long enough to see my children turn 47. So, in those times when it seems like death is more possible, it flashes pretty strongly into my mind. In fact, when I'm alone, most often on my day off, I think about how I want to live my life in a way that honors my dad's life. I want my wife and children to appreciate me and I want to enjoy my time with them as much as possible. I want my life to matter.
So, here's to another day! May you and I fully live each and every day whether we are off or on, here or there. If it takes a shredded tire to remind us, so be it. But, I'll settle for some nice quiet reflection at home, please!!!
An Inside Look Robert graduated from the Youth Ministry Institute this year. I spend an hour each month on the phone coaching Robert. Every one of our youth ministers gets a coach who meets with them monthly. Robert is in Coral Gables. I'm in Orlando. So, we meet on the phone.
Robert is a trained architect. Before his two years in YMI he had no training as a youth minister. As part of his assignment at the end of his first year, he, like the other first year students, developed and presented a model of youth ministry that would work at his church. He created three themes, "Believe, Be Free and Be Yourself." Catchy, huh? That was the idea. In his second year, everything he did had a tag line of one of these three themes.
Robert is the 8th youth minister at his church in the last 15 years. It has been that long since somebody has stayed longer than three years. Robert just entered year number three. As one might imagine, trust and consistency are the biggest issues for the youth and families to whom he ministers. The big story line is, "Will the ex-architect turn the youth ministry around?"
The story within the story is this: Last month a young man in Robert's youth group shared a personal struggle with Robert. After a great deal of attentive listening Robert asked, "What do you need to do?" The boy looked at Robert and said, "I know. Be myself."
In Robert's youth group, one boy got at least part of the message. One boy trusted his youth minister. Sometimes, we only hear from one. In all probability, one means that many others are beginning to get it, too. But, it always starts with one.
Most Recently Non Profit Status Secured
The Youth Ministry Institute, driven by its dedicated board of directors, successfully attained non-profit status on April 4, 2010. Led by board member, Kim Lee, YMI becomes more eligible for funding from multiple foundations. YMI joined the Community Foundation of Central Florida and created a DonorsEdge profile on their web site. Guidestar also lists the Youth Ministry Institute.
Partner Highlight
The Youth Ministry Architects, a national consulting firm, provides expert analysis and recommendations to each of our partner churches. Two consultants spend three days at each church, listening first to nearly a dozen different focus groups. After determining the assets and challenges the youth ministry faces, they make recommendations for future action, presenting all of their findings in writing on the third day of their assessment.
The Youth Ministry Architects have consulted with over 150 churches nationwide representing multiple Christian traditions over the last decade. Their focus on solid infrastructure and sustainable models encourages churches to work on fundamental strategies. In our partnership, the second consultant is the coach of the youth minister, creating continuity and accountability for those items recommended in the final report.
Coming Soon
Annual Dessert Fund Raiser
February 7th marks our fourth dessert fund raiser. Beginning at 6:45 in Lee Fellowship Hall at First Presbyterian Church of Orlando, this event will continue to be yummy, informative and motivational. If you know of someone who hasn't heard the impact we are making in youth ministries across Florida, then, invite them to be your guest!!!
Redesigned Web Site Launched
Are you really not sure what the Youth Ministry Institute is all about? You'll be clear after you wander through our redesigned web site. Mike Gehr of Toucan Design has labored to develop a clean looking site that is easy to navigate. Youth ministers and churches interested in participating with the Youth Ministry Institute will receive a clear synopsis in the opening pages. For more detailed information, downloadable documents contain all of the specifics regarding courses and instructional philosophies revolving around core competencies.
Collaborative work is important to the Youth Ministry Institute. One reading of the staff page in About Us and the Partner page will communicate the larger community that makes up the Youth Ministry Institute.
Lastly, you can get a clearer understanding of what the executive director values by reading his blog off the front page. You might find yourself laughing, crying or saying to yourself, "hmmm" , after reading his thoughts.
Regardless, enjoy the pictures, read the quotes and devour the information on www.YMInstitute.com
Trying to live into God's desire for my life is never easy. Is it for you? I'm not saying that it's hard to be nice to other people or that I'm not generous with my finances. I'm just not ever confident whether the little decisions I make are in line with what God would want me to do.
For instance: sleep. Should I sleep more to take care of my body? Or should I wake up earlier so that I can be more productive with my day? How about food? Should I eat protein, carbs, vegetables or fruit? If my mom reads this, she would answer, "yes."
Time is a big deal for me at this stage in my life. As an elementary student, teachers would always check on my report card "doesn't use time wisely." So, I continue to be haunted by that evaluation of my life. What is the wisest use of my time? Does spending time chuckling at Sheldon on the Big Bang Theory really count as spending my time wisely? There is an endorphin benefit to laughing that is connected with good health. But, am I doing things that help God and the mission of the church?
Might the question be more important than the answer? When I find myself questioning my behavior or my activity, it seems that I intuitively know exactly what I should be doing and I am internally motivated to do exactly that. How about you?
The other day I was leaving a church after doing a 90 minute orientation for the Youth Ministry Institute and it started to rain. Rather than running to my car to avoid melting like the Wicked Witch of the West, I threw up my hands and face to the sky and felt the rain, thanking God for the nourishment and the respite from the sweltering Florida sun. I wasn't productive. I didn't gain any nourishment, change the world or save any lives. But, in those few steps between the church and my car, I felt like I used those moments wisely. I wish my teachers were watching!
The Youth Ministry Institute has been in business for nearly six years. 20 youth ministers have completed our two-year program. This year alone, YMI has ten new churches under contract! Their youth ministers and those that are completing their second year are pictured to the left. This is very good! It meets a goal I have had over the past year. It is also ties the record for the greatest number of churches that we have ever signed up in one calendar year. It is exciting to know that two of those churches will allow YMI to stretch into new territories.
ake tough staffing decisions?'
Ken gave her the option of continuing seminary or enrolling in YMI. At the time we had two students who were doing both. But, the church was paying the tab. Missy chose YMI. She impressed me as somebody who had a deep and committed faith, yet she lacked self confidence, often second guessing her decisions. YMI doesn’t give a person self confidence. It creates an environment of support and nurture, so that when a youth minister makes a mistake (we all do) then there is adequate margin to reflect on the places the mistake emanated. Developing a healthy attitude towards success and failure builds self confidence. But, ultimately, the youth minister has to do this work.
